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second wind
it still hasn’t sunk in for me that i made the second wind. i was out of town for both the tryout and the first practice, so it just doesn’t feel real.
don’t even get me started on how i made it without the actual tryout. i mean, i get that they’ve been watching our practices, scrimmages and games, but i didn’t even think i would survive the tryout, let alone make the team.
anyway, i feel like an asshole for making the team over people who’ve been there longer and who wanted it more and who tried harder (read: at all) to make it.
don’t get me wrong, i am proud and honored and i will do my best, but, whatever skills i may excel at, i feel i lack the drive that so many others possess. i want to do well, but not at any cost.
i don’t really know how to make myself believe i’m good enough to be there. and i’m boggled about how to make myself more determined to excel.
fake it ‘til you make it, i guess.
